It tasted like an ass sandwich.

In truth I do not know what an ass sandwich but if I were ever to imagine what an ass sandwich tasted like it would be what I tried to make for dinner tonight.

It had a slightly pungent aroma, a sour, yet salty taste with a hint of lemon, or if it were really an ass sandwich then you’d just call it acid flavor, but since this was really a meal it can be “hint of lemon.”

This meal was a fish meal…tuna…from a can. Canned tuna cooking smells like morning after bar farts, however most of the time you mix the tuna with yummy smells and they balance each other out. Like nutmeg. A pinch of nutmeg makes everything smell better, and depending on what you are making taste better too. I’ve found nutmeg to be a wonderful compliment to anything that uses hot sauce.

The meal looked pretty. I had black olives, red tomatoes, green capers and red pepper flakes all mixed in with the bar fart white tuna. That colorful mixture is then tossed with short cut noodles. (Penne/farfel) The colorful looking dish does nothing for the ass sandwich taste.

Before mixing the mixture in with the noodles I sampled a small portion. Thank God, I sample my food when I’m cooking because I spit it out…in the pan, but don’t tell Husband that. He’s kind of a weirdo when it comes to food.

I likened the taste to, yep an ass sandwich. How do I come up with ass sandwich? Simple, imagine a hot humid summer day. So humid and hot it’s stifling, you don’t want to move, and your hair sticks to your scalp. You sweat if you even dare to breathe in the hot heavy air around you. At some point you lick your lips and taste that salty stale taste. Now image how your butt is feeling, sweaty, salty, stinky, marinating it its own trapped heat. It would be a hundred times worse than the salty stale sweat left on your lips, and create a nice aroma to go with the sweaty marinade in your pants. That’s what the sauce tasted like. The noodles act as the bread. Hey, carbs are carbs are carbs.

There you have it, ass sandwich.

We had Frosted Flakes for Dinner. They’re GrrrrrrrrATE!